A wise photographer carries more than one lens. So does a wise life. Some moments require breadth. Others demand focus. Using only one lens limits the story. – MJ Martin
Introduction
A human life is not a single, continuous self carried intact from youth to old age. It is a succession of selves, each shaped by time, experience, loss, learning, and hope. We often speak of “finding ourselves,” as if the self were a fixed object waiting to be discovered, yet lived experience suggests the opposite. We are always becoming. The person we are at any given moment is a temporary arrangement, coherent enough to function, yet fluid enough to change. This evolution is not a failure of consistency but the very essence of being human. To live fully is to accept that we will become many persons over a lifetime, each one valid within its moment, each one eventually giving way to another.
Becoming Many Persons
From childhood onward, identity unfolds in layers. The child, the adolescent, the young adult, the midlife self, and the elder are not merely older versions of the same person. They often hold different values, fears, ambitions, and definitions of success. Each stage carries its own internal logic, shaped by context and necessity. What once felt urgent later feels trivial. What once seemed impossible later becomes routine. These shifts are not betrayals of our former selves. They are evidence that growth is occurring.
“The self is not a destination. It is a series of arrivals and departures.”
Over time, memory knits these versions together into a story we call “me,” yet that story is retrospective. In the present moment, we are always incomplete, always provisional. The mistake is to believe that any single version of ourselves represents a final arrival point. In truth, every identity is a working draft.
Outgrowing Selves, Not People
As we evolve, relationships often change or fade, and this is frequently misunderstood as outgrowing others. More accurately, we outgrow the version of ourselves that once aligned with them. The shared interests, assumptions, or rhythms that once created harmony no longer exist in the same way. This does not diminish the value of those relationships or the people within them. It simply reflects that identity is relational, and when one side of the relationship transforms, the connection must either adapt or loosen.
“Becoming the best version of yourself comes with a lot of good-byes”.
This perspective introduces compassion into change. Instead of framing separation as superiority or rejection, it can be understood as divergence. Two people may each continue growing in meaningful ways, just not along parallel paths. Recognizing this allows us to honour the past without clinging to it, and to release guilt or resentment that often accompanies personal evolution.
Horizons That Multiply With Age
Contrary to the belief that possibility narrows with age, many people experience the opposite. With time comes perspective, and with perspective comes an awareness of multiple horizons. Youth often looks toward a single, dominant future, defined by career, achievement, or belonging. Later in life, horizons multiply. There is the horizon of contribution, the horizon of reflection, the horizon of mentorship, the horizon of renewal. Even in retirement, life does not become static. It simply reorganizes its emphasis.
“Every horizon invites a different truth about what matters.”
A common and often unsettling experience that comes with retirement is the feeling of losing relevance in society. As children, our world begins with our immediate family. It then expands to our street, our classmates, and eventually our schools, where everyone moves toward similar goals and belonging feels natural. In college or university, paths begin to diverge as individuals shape their own futures. During our twenties and thirties, our world often widens through travel, career exploration, and new experiences. In our forties and fifties, life becomes more rooted, anchored by homes, children, work, and responsibilities that tie us to a place. In our sixties and seventies, freedom often returns, allowing us to pursue personal interests once again. By our eighties and nineties, life gradually contracts, and our world becomes smaller, resembling the limited and intimate universe of early childhood.
“With age, horizons do not disappear. They multiply.”
One of the central challenges of aging and retirement is finding where we still fit within our communities. During midlife, our actions often have a wide reach and visible impact. For some, maintaining that sense of relevance remains deeply important. For others, it matters less, and fulfillment is found in simpler roles, such as being present with grandchildren or close family. This natural contraction often reflects changing energy, priorities, or financial realities. Yet many older adults continue to contribute in meaningful ways through community organizations, such as service clubs or faith groups. While the scale of influence may be smaller than before, the work remains valuable, purposeful, and deeply relevant.
“Youth chases one horizon. Wisdom walks among many.”
Each horizon represents a different truth about what matters. None of them cancels the others. Instead, they coexist, inviting choice. The freedom of maturity lies not in having fewer options, but in knowing which options are worth pursuing at a given moment.
Seeing Life Through Different Lenses
Life is perceived through lenses that change with experience. At times we look with a wide-angle lens, seeking breadth, novelty, and connection. At other times we switch to a telephoto lens, focusing deeply on a single relationship, craft, or idea. Neither perspective is superior. Each reveals something the other cannot.
“What you see depends not on the world alone, but on where you choose to stand.”
The mistake is to believe that we must choose one lens and commit to it permanently. In reality, wisdom lies in knowing when to change lenses. Periods of expansion often alternate with periods of focus. The dynamic movement between these perspectives keeps life coherent and alive. What once demanded intensity later invites spaciousness. What once required distance later calls for closeness.
Constructing and Deconstructing the Self
Identity is not only formed; it is dismantled and rebuilt repeatedly. We construct images of ourselves based on roles, achievements, and narratives that make sense of our place in the world. Over time, these constructions may become restrictive. They can harden into expectations that no longer reflect who we are becoming. When this happens, discomfort arises, signalling the need for deconstruction.
“Deconstruction is not loss. It is preparation.”
Deconstruction is often mistaken for loss, yet it is also an act of renewal. By questioning old assumptions and releasing outdated self-images, we create space for new forms of meaning. This process can be unsettling, particularly when identity has been closely tied to work, status, or external validation. Nevertheless, it is through this ongoing cycle of construction and deconstruction that authenticity is preserved.
Change Beyond Work and Retirement
Change does not end when a career ends. Whether working or retired, individuals continue to evolve in response to relationships, health, curiosity, and circumstance. Work may no longer define identity, but purpose does not disappear. It simply shifts location. For some, it moves into creativity or service. For others, into learning, family, or contemplation. The absence of formal roles can even accelerate personal transformation, removing structures that once constrained self-definition.
“Life keeps editing us long after we think the story is written.”
Importantly, change is morally neutral. Some changes lead to greater openness, generosity, and insight. Others may narrow perspective or harden attitudes. What matters is not the fact of change itself, but our willingness to remain attentive and reflective as it occurs. Growth is not guaranteed by time alone. It requires engagement.
Life as a Dynamic Process
Life is never static. It is a continuous negotiation between stability and transformation. Attempts to freeze identity, whether through nostalgia or fear, ultimately fail. The self resists permanence because permanence would require denying experience. To live is to be altered by what we encounter.
“You may step into the same river each morning, but neither you nor the water is ever the same. Continuity exists, yet permanence does not”.
Accepting this dynamism invites humility. It reminds us that our current beliefs and identities are neither final nor universal. They are simply what makes sense from where we are standing now. This awareness opens the door to empathy, curiosity, and adaptability. It allows us to hold our convictions with confidence, yet without rigidity.
Summary: Embracing the Ongoing Becoming
A human life is best understood not as a straight line, but as a series of evolving perspectives. We become many persons, each shaped by the demands and insights of a particular moment. We do not outgrow others so much as we outgrow former alignments within ourselves. With age, horizons multiply, lenses shift, and identities are constructed and deconstructed in an ongoing dialogue with experience.
“Life’s deepest truth is not that we change, but that we are meant to.”
Change continues regardless of employment status or stage of life. Sometimes it refines us, sometimes it challenges us, but it never stops. To embrace this reality is to live with openness rather than resistance. In doing so, we honour the truth that life’s deepest coherence lies not in remaining the same, but in continuing to become.
About the Author:
Michael Martin is the Vice President of Technology with Metercor Inc., a Smart Meter, IoT, and Smart City systems integrator based in Canada. He has more than 40 years of experience in systems design for applications that use broadband networks, optical fibre, wireless, and digital communications technologies. He is a business and technology consultant. He was a senior executive consultant for 15 years with IBM, where he worked in the GBS Global Center of Competency for Energy and Utilities and the GTS Global Center of Excellence for Energy and Utilities. He is a founding partner and President of MICAN Communications and before that was President of Comlink Systems Limited and Ensat Broadcast Services, Inc., both divisions of Cygnal Technologies Corporation (CYN: TSX).
Martin served on the Board of Directors for TeraGo Inc (TGO: TSX) and on the Board of Directors for Avante Logixx Inc. (XX: TSX.V). He has served as a Member, SCC ISO-IEC JTC 1/SC-41 – Internet of Things and related technologies, ISO – International Organization for Standardization, and as a member of the NIST SP 500-325 Fog Computing Conceptual Model, National Institute of Standards and Technology. He served on the Board of Governors of the University of Ontario Institute of Technology (UOIT) [now Ontario Tech University] and on the Board of Advisers of five different Colleges in Ontario – Centennial College, Humber College, George Brown College, Durham College, Ryerson Polytechnic University [now Toronto Metropolitan University]. For 16 years he served on the Board of the Society of Motion Picture and Television Engineers (SMPTE), Toronto Section.
He holds three master’s degrees, in business (MBA), communication (MA), and education (MEd). As well, he has three undergraduate diplomas and seven certifications in business, computer programming, internetworking, project management, media, photography, and communication technology. He has completed over 60 next generation MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses) continuous education in a wide variety of topics, including: Economics, Python Programming, Internet of Things, Cloud, Artificial Intelligence and Cognitive systems, Blockchain, Agile, Big Data, Design Thinking, Security, Indigenous Canada awareness, and more.