“The face you show the world earns acceptance. The face you share with others builds connection. But the face you keep hidden defines who you truly are.” – MJ Martin
There is an old Japanese legend that suggests every person carries three faces.
The first is the one presented to the world, composed with care and intention. It is the face of politeness, of social grace, of expectation fulfilled. In this outer expression, we become what is required of us. We speak in measured tones, we choose acceptable words, and we move in ways that align with the silent agreements of society. This face is not false, but it is curated. It is shaped by the understanding that we are seen, judged, and remembered.
The second face is reserved for those who are closest to us. Family, trusted friends, and those who have earned our confidence are permitted to see beyond the polished surface. This face is more relaxed, more honest, and often more imperfect. Here, laughter is less restrained, frustration more visible, and vulnerability begins to emerge. It is within this circle that we allow contradiction to exist. We are strong and uncertain, joyful and burdened, hopeful and afraid. This second face is a bridge between who we present ourselves to be and who we truly are.
Yet it is the third face that carries the deepest truth. This is the face that remains unseen, even by those we love most. It is not hidden out of deception, but out of instinct. Within it resides the unfiltered self, the quiet voice that speaks when all external noise fades. It holds our unspoken fears, our private desires, our unresolved questions, and the fragments of identity we struggle to reconcile. This face does not perform. It does not adapt for acceptance. It simply exists, observing and experiencing without the need for validation.
The existence of this third face invites reflection. Why do we conceal the truest version of ourselves, even from those we trust? Part of the answer lies in the human condition itself. To be fully known is to risk rejection. To reveal the entirety of one’s inner world is to surrender control over how one is perceived. There is a quiet protection in keeping a part of ourselves untouched by external judgment. It allows us to maintain a space where we are entirely free, even if only within our own thoughts.
At the same time, the legend suggests a subtle tension. If the third face is the truest reflection, then how closely do the other two align with it? A life lived too far from that inner truth can create a sense of dissonance, a feeling that something essential is being withheld or lost. Authenticity is not found in exposing everything, but in ensuring that the distance between these faces is not too great. The harmony of self lies in the alignment between what we show, what we share, and what we quietly know.
In this way, the legend is not merely an observation, but an invitation. It asks us to consider the nature of identity and the balance between protection and honesty. It reminds us that while not every truth must be spoken, every truth deserves to be acknowledged. The third face may remain unseen, but it should not remain unheard.
About the Author:
Michael Martin is the Vice President of Technology with Metercor Inc., a Smart Meter, IoT, and Smart City systems integrator based in Canada. He has more than 40 years of experience in systems design for applications that use broadband networks, optical fibre, wireless, and digital communications technologies. He is a business and technology consultant. He was a senior executive consultant for 15 years with IBM, where he worked in the GBS Global Center of Competency for Energy and Utilities and the GTS Global Center of Excellence for Energy and Utilities. He is a founding partner and President of MICAN Communications and before that was President of Comlink Systems Limited and Ensat Broadcast Services, Inc., both divisions of Cygnal Technologies Corporation (CYN: TSX).
Martin served on the Board of Directors for TeraGo Inc (TGO: TSX) and on the Board of Directors for Avante Logixx Inc. (XX: TSX.V). He has served as a Member, SCC ISO-IEC JTC 1/SC-41 – Internet of Things and related technologies, ISO – International Organization for Standardization, and as a member of the NIST SP 500-325 Fog Computing Conceptual Model, National Institute of Standards and Technology. He served on the Board of Governors of the University of Ontario Institute of Technology (UOIT) [now Ontario Tech University] and on the Board of Advisers of five different Colleges in Ontario – Centennial College, Humber College, George Brown College, Durham College, Ryerson Polytechnic University [now Toronto Metropolitan University]. For 16 years he served on the Board of the Society of Motion Picture and Television Engineers (SMPTE), Toronto Section.
He holds three master’s degrees, in business (MBA), communication (MA), and education (MEd). As well, he has three undergraduate diplomas and seven certifications in business, computer programming, internetworking, project management, media, photography, and communication technology. He has completed over 60 next generation MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses) continuous education in a wide variety of topics, including: Economics, Python Programming, Internet of Things, Cloud, Artificial Intelligence and Cognitive systems, Blockchain, Agile, Big Data, Design Thinking, Security, Indigenous Canada awareness, and more.